Day 39- Control
I read several chapters today nearing
the end of 1 Samuel. There was another episode of
Saul chasing David, with David having the opportunity
to take Saul out, but he chooses not to. David then
flees back to the Philistines seeking refuge knowing
that Saul wouldn’t chase him there. The Philistines
begin to gather an army to attack Israel. Saul gets
word of this, and of course panics.
In his fear, Saul looks to God for answers.
When he doesn’t get an answer from God right
away, he looks to another source. I could go on and
on about this little fiasco because Saul is just such
a hypocrite by this point, but that’s not what
caught my attention. It was when he didn’t get
an answer from God, and he immediately sought a different
source.
I have no problem crying out to God,
thanking Him and telling Him what I think I need.
I do however, have a hard time waiting on God for
answers and listening to His voice. Sometimes I’m
just easily distracted, but a lot of times when I
need to wait and listen the most is when I’m
scared and panicked. I don’t know about you,
but that’s not generally when my most patient
and humble side shows up to sit still and wait for
answer I may or may not want to hear.
And I can tell you exactly why I get
scared and panicked. Whether the issue is sickness,
suffering, harassment, need, distress or whatever,
I get panicked because the bottom line is I
am not in control. I crave control. I’m
a very focused, goal-oriented, do-things-the-right-way,
hands-on, in-charge, running-the-show, type-A kind
of person. My problem becomes two-fold because not
only am I not in control, but sometimes I don’t
even realize I’m not in control and that makes
my control-freak side come out in even greater panic.
The past year and a half has been a
huge struggle for me in about a million different
ways, but it all comes down to one issue- I am not
in control and I need to trust the One who is. In
2 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about a thorn in the
flesh that given to him. He pleaded that God take
it away, but this was His response in verse 9:
“My grace is sufficient
for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
There will be all kinds of trials and
tribulations that we will face in this life. But when
we can trust Christ in the midst of our panic and
lack of control, Christ’s power and grace will
become more apparent to those around us and will bring
praise to the only One who deserves it.
Lord,
Thank You for continuing to impress upon my heart
and mind how I need to trust You in these times. I
know I’ve had episodes of trusting You here
and there in my life, but God I want it to be every
single day! Strengthen my faith in You Lord, help
me to not only run to You first but to wait on Your
answer. Help me to remember to thank You for the challenges
I face in life, because they are opportunities for
You to show the world Your strength!
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
