71. How to be Champion Minded with Allistair McCaw
In this week’s episode, Laura welcomes Allistair McCaw, a best-selling author and speaker who is recognized as one of the world's foremost figures in leadership, team culture, and mindset. Throughout his 30-year-long career, Allistair has worked with some of the most successful athletes and organizations in the world, from Olympians and Paralympians to World Champion Athletes and Grand Slam Champions. He’s also a 29-time marathon finisher and a former five-time world championship competitor in the sport of triathlon. Today, Allistair is committed to his lifelong purpose of teaching, inspiring, and motivating others to be champion minded and achieve their full potential.
In this episode of the Pursuit of Gold podcast, Laura and Allistair dive deep into the growth mindset of professional athletes. Allistair begins by discussing the biggest struggles that athletes face today and explains the key difference between choice and sacrifice. As he nicely puts it, when you’re passionate about something, it’s not a sacrifice; it’s a choice. Then, Allistair goes on to explain the importance of learning to deal with failure and overcoming perfectionism as an athlete. Being a perfectionist won’t get you far in sports, but embracing failure will. Next, Laura and Allistair talk about the power of vision, the importance of developing self-leadership, and the differences between excellence and success. If you want to learn more about being champion minded, make sure you tune into this episode to hear what Allistair has to say.
Episode Highlights:
Allistair’s background
The biggest struggles that athletes face today
Choice vs. sacrifice
Embracing failure and overcoming perfectionism
The inspiration behind Champion Minded
The importance of vision for professional athletes
The differences between team sports and individual sports
The importance of developing leadership skills
Why authenticity is key for coaches
Excellence vs. success
The power of the growth mindset
Quotes:
“We all know that progress is different for every single athlete. Sometimes you'll have spurts of growth, sometimes, you'll have spurts of confidence, which helps, and so on and so forth. But we're all on a different journey. ”
“Nobody can make you hungry. No one can give you a passion. No one can tell you to enjoy it more. That really comes from within.”
“You're not always going to feel like a million dollars. You're not always going to jump out of bed in the morning and can't wait to go to practice. It's impossible, no matter how dedicated or passionate you are. So for me, it was that vision or that purpose of wanting to be a champion one day, wanting to be the best I could be - that's what got me through those tougher days. ”
“It has to come from within. You can't make somebody passionate. You can't make somebody do something that they don't necessarily want to do.”
“You can't lead others if you're not leading yourself effectively.”
“I believe that great coaches, great leaders are more about excellence than about success.”
“Enjoy it; that's the most important thing. And I know that's very hard when you're in the middle of it, and especially when things aren't going well, but the journey is the most important thing about it.”
“All the hard work, no matter what level you get to, no matter what your destiny is, it will never go unused; it will always be worthwhile because these are qualities that you learn in sports that will help you afterward in your relationships and in business and corporate, whatever direction you go into.”
Links:
Grab the Black Friday Catalog!
Laura’s Social Media:
Connect with Allistair:
69. How to Effectively Implement Visualization with Our Host Laura Wilkinson
On today’s episode, Laura’s talking about one of the things she gets asked about most frequently: visualization. Laura credits this technique as a big part of why she was able to make the Olympic team and win gold when no one else expected her to. Having seen other athletes succeed with this approach, she adopted it as a way to continue training after shattering her foot three months before the Olympic Trials, making an opportunity out of that forced sidelining. Visualization has remained part of Laura’s personal toolset, and she uses that experience in this episode to explain what the technique is and walk us through how to get started visualizing in a way that will actually make a difference.
Visualization is defined as purposely rehearsing a skill, routine, or performance in your mind to program your body physically for success. Practicing it consistently becomes a fortifying competition strategy, rewiring your brain to prepare it to deal with all the different factors that come into play while competing. Laura explains that there are a few different ways to visualize, including first and third-person versions, which contribute different effects and should be used in conjunction with each other. She also points out the importance of engaging all your senses while visualizing to better immerse your brain and make changes more easily. Laura then shares some how-to basics for those wishing to start visualizing, from giving yourself a set amount of time to practice, to making sure you have a quiet place to visualize in, and starting with the approach that comes most naturally to you. And finally, Laura finishes the episode with some tips and tricks for beginners, including practicing frequently and consistently, mixing things up every day, and using video study to enhance your visualization.
Episode Highlights:
Laura’s personal experience with visualization
What visualization is
Types and elements of visualization
How-to visualizing basics
Tips and tricks for getting started with visualization
Quotes:
“When I burst onto the scene winning an unexpected Olympic victory—well, unexpected to everyone else—the story that was being told was centered around me having shattered my foot before the Olympic trials and being unable to physically train. So I visualized, and that not only helped me make the Olympic team, but I consider it a big part of the reason that I was able to stand atop the podium and listen to my national anthem play.”
“The more senses that you engage, the more your mind starts to believe that you’re really doing the activity. You’re actively rewiring your brain on how to fire and react when you’re doing specific movements and techniques. So the more real it is to you, the more real it is to your brain, and the more effective changes you can actually make.”
“People say practice makes perfect, but really, practice makes permanent. So if you’re practicing or thinking about or visualizing the wrong actions, that’s what you are making into concrete in your brain. So you really want to make sure, as you’re visualizing, that you take the time to think about doing all the things, all the tiny, little details, correct because that’s what you are programming in your brain.”
“These visualizations of the competition scenarios, it just allows you to put yourself in so many different situations that maybe you don’t have the actual time to be going out and doing the thirty different competitions against the same people to see how you would stack up in different scenarios. But you can do that in your mind.”
“Make sure that you’re keeping this positive. This is not a place to beat yourself up or to get frustrated. This is a place to learn, to experiment, and to see yourself doing all these awesome and amazing things that you’ve dreamed of doing.”
Pursuit of Gold Podcast is brought to you by Kaatsu Global
Links:
Life at 10 Meters: Lessons from an Olympic Champion
Laura’s Social Media:
66. Confidence is the Answer to Fear with High Performance Coach Rebecca Smith
Today, Laura welcomes Rebecca Smith, the Founder and CEO of Complete Performance Coaching and PerformHappy, who has been helping high achievers thrive under pressure for more than 20 years. A former gymnast herself and a fellow recovering perfectionist, Rebecca understands very well the mental health challenges that professional athletes have to go through. Having struggled with mental blocks for years, she eventually quit her gymnastics career and decided to move on. Now, she’s committed to helping young athletes nurture their mental health while still winning competitions. Her unique evidence-based approach helps fearful young athletes discover the confidence to stand up for themselves when faced with the notorious toxic culture of youth sport.
On this episode of the Pursuit of Gold podcast, Laura and Rebecca discuss mental blocks and how to overcome them. Rebecca shares her own story dealing with perfectionism, how mental blocks destroyed her gymnastics career yet helped her to uncover effective tactics for getting over them. She explains the two main parts of overcoming a mental block: the physical side and the mental side. Once you overcome the physical part, you need to work on maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself, meaning build your self-awareness and inner confidence. These two are fundamental to your self-growth. Rebecca goes on to share a few more useful tactics for overcoming mental blocks, such as turning nervousness into excitement, practicing mindfulness, and front-loading confidence. Finally, Laura and Rebecca wrap up the episode by touching upon the importance of having a supportive coach, emphasizing the fact that a positive environment sets the tone for success.
Episode Highlights:
Rebecca’s gymnastics background and moving past mental blocks
Winning the battle against perfectionism
The importance of praising effort versus talent
The incredible power of imagination and creativity for your competence
The two parts to overcoming a mental block
Increasing and front-loading confidence to avoid mental blocks
Turning nervousness into excitement
Practicing the mindful warmup and being present
Dealing with injuries as a professional athlete
Mental health and motivation during COVID
The importance of a supportive and positive environment for athletes
Supporting young athletes as a parent
Quotes:
“Their parents are like, ‘She’s the best tumbler anyone's ever seen, why can't she just go do it?’ And there's this because there's just such a combination of factors that lead to mental block. One of them is that it's the pressure of being amazing, being perfect.”
“Our brain only cares about keeping us safe. That's the only thing. It doesn't care about competitions. It doesn't care about scores, or metals or places, or deadlines, or any of that stuff It only cares about ‘keep the body alive.’”
“She was the kid who was a hard worker with heart. She was not the most talented kid on our team. But so, with that being said, if you want to move forward, you can't wait for your magic talent fairy to bless you with the ability to do your skill again, it just isn't going to work.”
“There is this huge kind of internal component that's all about connecting with your own joy and your own choice. Because if you don't, if you feel like you're doing it for anybody, but you, you're going to get burned out, it's just the way it goes.”
“Excitement and nerves are both high arousal, physical states. So, your heart's beating, you're a little more fidgety, you've got a little more energy, it is a lot easier to go from nervous to excited than it is to go from nervous to calm, especially when you only have moments before you compete.”
“Injuries, just like mental blocks, are part of the deal. For a lot of athletes, it's just a setback. And so, the worst thing you can do is compare yourself to where you should be or could be or where your friend is or where you would like to be because all that does is create self-pity.”
Pursuit of Gold Podcast is brought to you by Kaatsu Global
Links:
Life at 10 Meters: Lessons from an Olympic Champion
Laura’s Social Media:
Connect with Rebecca:
47. An unstoppable drive with our host Laura Wilkinson on the Jedburgh Podcast
Once again this week, things are a little bit different as today’s episode features Laura being interviewed by former Special Forces Green Beret, Fran Racioppi, on ‘The Jedburgh Podcast’. Touted as ‘a conversation with prominent visionaries, drivers of change, and those dedicated to winning’, this podcast is a natural and timely fit for Laura, as she participates in the Olympic Trials this week and next in her bid to compete in her fourth Olympic Games. Be sure to tune into the Olympic Channel and NBC and join Fran in cheering her on in her attempt, and enjoy this interview here today which outlines precisely just what it takes to reach similar success in your own life.
Laura and Fran begin by looking at what it takes to reach elite levels, and then discuss Laura’s career from her start in high school to present day. Along the way, they explore her perspective on failure and fear, the need to take ownership of your performance, her Sydney Olympics experience, and her Dream Chaser philosophy. They also delve into Laura’s neck surgery and recovery, her preparation for the Tokyo Olympics, and her take on finding balance in life and achieving longevity in sports. The interview concludes with her thoughts on channeling the pressure of the moment, ‘The Pursuit of Gold’, the 3 things she does every day, and the elite performance characteristic that Laura most exemplifies – drive. As Laura heads into the Trials which will determine her immediate Olympic future, today’s sweeping examination of the many components which have brought her to this moment could not be more relevant – listen in and prepare to be inspired.
Episode Highlights:
· What it takes to reach elite levels
· Laura’s high school diving experience and her ‘call to action’
· Her perspective on failure
· Taking ownership of your performance
· Laura’s performance at the Sydney Olympics, the events leading up to it, and the pep talk she gave herself
· Dream Chaser
· Her neck surgery and recovery
· Laura’s thoughts on fear and moving past it
· Preparing to qualify for Tokyo
· Dealing with the ‘uncontrollables’
· Her thought on finding balance in her life
· Achieving longevity in sports
· Channeling the pressure of the moment
· Her ‘Pursuit of Gold’ podcast
· Laura’s next couple months
· The 3 things Laura does every day to be successful
· The elite performance characteristic that Laura most exemplifies
Quotes:
“Faith and determination separate the good from the great.”
“Just because somebody tells you you can't, doesn't mean it's true.”
“Failure is part of success. And the concrete actions that you take from the moment you accept that you failed are what defines you as a leader and as an elite performer.”
“I'm not afraid to look like a fool.”
“When we talk about the development of elite talent, there's a requirement to be humble and show humility.”
“How can I become better? How can I fix that? How can I move forward?”
“It doesn't matter how old you are, doesn't matter what station you have in life, you can really make a difference for somebody just by being there for them.”
“This pressure that you felt became a power.”
“I realized that there were so many people that probably would never have the opportunity that I was in at that moment.”
“The task ahead of you is never greater than the power behind you.”
“I absolutely loved it, because it wasn't about me in that moment...it was about something so much bigger.”
“So it's about the pursuit, it's about the hunt. It's about who you become. And I think that's what I really mean by Dream Chaser.”
“You have to have this done just to be a mom because if you trip down the stairs, if you have a small car accident, like, that could lead to a quadriplegic.”
“A lot of times we're scared of the unknown…fear is a lot of times a liar.”
“To wholly stay in the moment is really the biggest key…and you have to practice that in practice.”
“I think really breaking my foot back then was such a gift because it gave me that opportunity to focus on visualization, to go through so many competition scenarios in my mind with so many different athletes.”
“Adversity makes you stronger.”
“The challenge in front of you sometimes becomes the blessing that you needed.”
“I have learned this last year is that I can just tear my plans up, throw them out the window, because I’ve got to roll with it. And I'm not good at that.”
“I think one of the best things COVID taught me was that I need to have my kids be part of what I'm doing.”
“They saw the sweat, they saw the tears, they saw the frustration, they saw how many times a day I was having to do this stuff and how hard I was working, all just hoping to get back in the pool. So it provided a lot of really good conversations for us.”
“The best people you see doing this are beginners at some point, like, you have to start somewhere.”
“I've had a lot of times where I'm like, you know, God, I'd be okay, if He closed the door, and we're done with this. But He's made it very clear, this is where I need to be, and He's made a way, and then that fire is back, and that fuel is back.”
“I've learned not to be scared of my emotions. I've learned how to use them and how to direct them.”
“And it's not about the pressure, or the expectations, or all these other things, just let that go. And it's just about me enjoying the moment.”
“This is actually my way of finding the resources and giving them to other athletes.”
“Learning those lessons from people and taking that with me, I think makes me not just stronger mentally, but emotionally and spiritually.”
“There's this need for achievement and growth mindset - be better today than you were yesterday, continuous self improvement - that you display that has set you apart from all of your competition.”
“For all the people who maybe think they're too old to do something they love to do, don't let society or culture decide that for you. If you love something, do it.”
Links:
5 Smart Strategies to Confidence
Laura’s Social Media:
The Jedburgh Podcast:
The Jedburgh Podcast on iTunes
The Jedburgh Podcast Instagram
40. Coming back from injuries stronger than before with our host Laura Wilkinson
One topic that Laura has been receiving a lot of messages about lately is that of dealing with injuries. There seems to be some worry, frustration, and uncertainty expressed by more and more athletes when it comes to feeling productive while they’re sidelined for weeks, months, and even longer during their recovery. Definitely no stranger to the world of injuries, Laura draws upon her own experiences, and those of previous podcast guests, to address all of these concerns and share some valuable advice.
Laura begins by recounting some of the injuries she has sustained during her career and how she and her coach responded to them. Throughout these stories, she highlights the importance of being ‘all in’ on your recovery plan, learning from these injuries and carrying those lessons forward, the power of mind, mindset, and perspective, as well as working through the many resulting emotions. Laura also reviews the stories of some past guests of the podcast whose journeys through injury and illness are both inspiring and enlightening, and she concludes the episode with her advice on ways to deal with injuries, how to use the time while on the sidelines, and just how critical it is to really take the time to assess your injury and recovery before choosing wisely on how to move forward. As you will hear, today’s topic is one with which Laura is greatly familiar, and the knowledge and wisdom she shares here is drawn not only from her own experience but from others in the world of high level sports. This is, truly, an important listen for all athletes, and really, for anyone who may suffer perceived setbacks in achieving their goals in life.
Episode Highlights:
· Some of the injuries that Laura has sustained throughout her career and how she and her coach responded to them
· Believing in what you’re doing when coming back from injury
· Learning from injuries and recovery and carrying those lessons forward
· The importance of our mind, mindset, and perspective
· Working through your emotions
· Inspiration to be drawn from past podcast guests
· Laura’s advice on ways to deal with injuries and what you can do while sidelined
· The power of nutrition, video study, visualization, mindfulness, coaching others, and restructuring goals
· Choosing your response to injuries wisely
Quotes:
“Obviously, hindsight, I wish we would have pressed for X-rays anyway, but my coach and I were just hoping that, you know, it wasn’t a big deal.”
“That first week, I still had all those mix of emotions that you get when you feel like your world is caving in on you.”
“We’re not going to look back and say, ‘What if?” and ‘Could I have?’, we are only going to look forward with a new plan.”
“I have to tell you that believing in what you’re doing - as crazy as it might appear to anyone watching - if you believe in what you are doing, you’ve got to be all in.”
“I would not have stood on that podium if I had not broken my foot.”
“They basically took two of the discs out in my neck and fused the bones together.”
“You can come out the other side even stronger.”
“If your goals have changed and you don’t want to be in your sport anymore, you don’t always have to use the injury as an excuse.”
“Sometimes these injuries turn into something more beautiful.”
“These injuries, they can break you if you let them, or they are something that can turn you into an entirely new athlete with a new purpose.”
“I encourage you to even check out the small injuries.”
“Take your physical therapy seriously.”
“Be smart. Know when to go slow. Know when to push forward.”
“There is so much you can do while you’re sidelined.”
“The mind is powerful. You need to learn how to use it.”
“Don’t underestimate the power of coaching. Even if it’s some younger kids that are around you, it can be really, really beneficial.”
“It all truly comes down to how you chose to look at it…choose wisely, friends.”
Links:
5 Smart Strategies to Confidence
Laura’s Social Media:
Previous episode links:
Robert Paylor, episode 38
Chanelle Price, episode 37
Allysa Seely, episode 29
Dr. Ben Houltberg, episode 27
Abby and Jacob Cooper, episode 23
Chaunte Lowe, episode 18
Apolo Ohno, episode 16
Amy Dixon, episode 14
Brad Snyder, episode 12
Susie Parker-Simmons, episode 7
38. Paralyzed to Powerful with Rugby Player Robert Paylor
Laura has been looking forward to today’s interview for a while, and the reason will become very clear, very quickly. On May 6, 2017, Robert Paylor was playing for the number one college rugby team in the country as they competed in the National Championship, a dream come true for any young athlete. Mere moments into that game, Robert broke his neck and was subsequently told that he would never walk or move his hands again. His life was changed forever in that instant, but if you think that’s where Robert’s story ends, you couldn’t be more wrong. That fateful day not only impacted his physical life, but his mindset, his faith, and his outlook on life, and he shares the whole story with us all today.
He begins by describing how he got involved in rugby in the first place, his experience at Cal, and then he shares, in chilling detail, the events of that day in May, 2017, as well as the immediate and long-term decisions and treatments involved in his rehabilitation, which continues to this very day. Along the way he touches upon the need for mental toughness, working through the daily grind toward his vision, the role that neuroplasticity plays in his rehabilitation, and the power of forgiveness. Throughout his story are woven Robert’s feelings of gratitude, the incredible support from family, friends, doctors, teammates, and coaches, and, especially, his discovery of the greatest purpose and commitment of his life. What happened to Robert truly changed his life on so many levels, and by listening in to his heartfelt and moving conversation with Laura today you’ll find out why he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Episode Highlights:
· How Robert got involved with rugby
· His experience at Cal
· The day Robert’s life changed forever
· The advice he received and the decision he made in his darkest hour
· Accessing mental toughness to make treatment decisions
· Robert’s post-surgery experience
· Support of family and friends
· Robert’s rehabilitation at Craig Hospital in Colorado
· False hope and false hopelessness
· Working through the grind toward his ironclad vision
· The first flicker of movement
· Accessing perspective to be more grateful
· The three ways to achieve recovery form spinal cord injury
· The role that neuroplasticity plays in his recovery
· Robert’s rehabilitation since he left the hospital
· The support from Robert’s rugby team and especially Coach Billups
· Graduating from Cal
· The power of asking yourself, “Compared to what?”
· The impact that Robert can have on the lives of others
· Talon’s story
· The biggest commitment that Robert has ever made
· The power of forgiveness
· Counting the days and appreciating the daily grind
Quotes:
“It was a day of legacy.”
“My face slams against my chest, I feel this crunch in my neck, and I immediately can’t feel or move anything below my neck.”
“The reality is, you will never walk again. You will never move your hands.”
“The one thing you have control over is your mindset. Your positivity, your ambition, your willingness to wake up every single day and fight is up to you.”
“I was going to give everything I had to get absolutely everything I can get.”
“I knew I couldn’t live with the regret of not going into this surgery.”
“It was like Death was sitting with me in that hospital room, waiting for me to quit.”
“If I don’t do this, I might die!”
“They look at me and they see potential, not some broken body.”
“The one thing we do know is that we are going to give you everything that modern science and medicine has to offer.”
“I came here to walk out of these hospital doors.”
“Appreciate every victory we have no matter how small they are.”
“There was just so much that I had lost that I had taken for granted in my life.”
“I couldn’t have graduated if it weren’t for this team.”
“Just being a quadriplegic is a job in itself.”
“It was my perspective that really fueled me.”
“Remind me not to complain about anything ever again.”
“I think that’s very unhealthy when we dismiss our challenges.”
“There are so many positives in our lives that we can be focusing on right now.”
“If I could go back and change what happened to me on May 6 of 2017, I wouldn’t and I couldn’t, because…it has given me now the greatest purpose that I have in my life.”
“I forgive him whether he is sorry or not.”
“I’m either going to get out of this wheelchair one day or I’m going to die trying.”
Links:
5 Smart Strategies to Confidence
Laura’s Social Media:
Connect with Robert:
33. How to keep moving forward in uncertain times with our host Laura Wilkinson
Today’s episode is a little different as Laura doesn’t interview a guest, but instead addresses head-on an issue that is impacting athletes throughout the world. There is a sense of weariness and exhaustion that Laura is observing in many athletes as they deal with postponements, cancellations, and what feels like an eternal holding pattern in their lives as this pandemic drags on. With her vast amount of experience, Laura possesses a great deal of wisdom and she shares it here today to help you navigate these ever changing circumstances and continue moving forward to achieve the goals you have set for yourself.
She starts by sharing her own recent history and current situation, reviewing the pandemic’s impact upon herself and other athletes, and explaining what it means to train with a moving target as well as how to accomplish it. Laura also stresses the importance of staying in the moment, looking at this unusual time as one of life’s precious opportunities, and offers a stirring analysis of the greatest gift you can give yourself. Laura sugarcoats nothing in today’s episode, demonstrating that life is filled with difficult patches to navigate, that it is up to us to decide who we want to be as we face these difficulties, and also passionately reinforcing the fact that we do, indeed, have the potential to not only get through all this but to thrive in the process.
Episode Highlights:
· Laura’s recent history and current situation
· The pandemic’s impact on athletes
· Training with a moving target
· Staying in the moment
· This precious opportunity
· ‘Cool Runnings’
· The greatest gift you can give yourself
· Who do you want to be?
Quotes:
“I actually have a nice titanium plate and 6 screws in my neck now.”
“It was devastating to so many athletes on different levels.”
“Now there’s pretty much nothing on our schedule until the Olympic trials in June.”
“Even though the target may be shifting and moving around, you’re aiming for that bullseye, and that has not changed.”
“We are going to have to adapt.”
“You are capable of getting through this and thriving.”
“You could handle anything as long as you stayed in the moment and gave it everything that you had.”
“They get back up and try again.”
“Instant gratification is actually not normal.”
“If it’s important to you, it is worth fighting for in that long term.”
“We need to remember that there’s so much more that goes on than just what we’re seeing in that little clip.”
“A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you’re not enough without one, you’ll never be enough with one.”
“Those moments magnify your character for better or for worse.”
“I have not only won all those things, I have failed miserably at all of those events as well.”
“I choose to be a champion both in character and in integrity.”
“If I may lose, let me stand by the road and cheer as the winners go by.”
“What can you do right now in this moment to the very best of your ability to help you continue working toward that goal?”
“It will give you peace.”
Links:
5 Smart Strategies to Confidence: https://www.laurawilkinson.com/learn
Laura’s Social Media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lala_the_diver
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheLauraWilkinson
References:
27. How to be resilient through adversity & improve performance with Dr. Ben Houltberg
Dr. Benjamin Houltberg, VP of Research and Practice at Search Institute, is Laura’s very special guest on today’s episode. Ben is a developmental scientist, and an experienced licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a former elite athlete. He is widely published in topics such as the socialization of adolescent emotion regulation, promoting resilience through adversity, character, and identity development in sports. As you will discover, he is also well versed in the practice of Mindfulness, and he is here to share his vast amount of experience, knowledge, and advice with you today.
Ben begins by sharing his journey from his first interest in sports and his running career, through to his current position, and then offers a thorough analysis of both performance based and purpose based identity, as well as the continuum between them. From this analysis, he expands upon performing out of fear and coping with it, mental health, his perspective on overcoming the challenges that this past year has provided, and the importance of gratitude and positive emotions. While examining the foundation for dealing with adversity, Ben explains the concept of Mindfulness, and actually leads Laura and our listeners through an exercise. He finishes the conversation discussing virtue development and high performance and sharing his advice for young athletes. Ben’s overriding belief that we are all of value, not because of our performance, but because of who we are, is evident throughout this inspiring episode. His is an impactful and important message for absolutely everyone to hear and to heed.
Episode Highlights:
· Ben’s journey from his start in sports to his current position
· Performance based identity, purpose based identity and the continuum between the two
· The impact of ‘performing out of fear’ and recognizing when you are struggling with it
· Steps to follow for coping with the fear
· Emotional regulation and co-regulation
· Mental health in the world of sport and society in general
· Michael Phelps’ ‘Weight of Gold’ documentary
· Ben’s observations and guidance regarding 2020 and moving forward from it
· The importance of feeling gratitude and expressing it to others
· The impact of positive and negative emotions
· 3 foundational aspects to preparing for adversity
· Mindfulness and its importance
· A mindfulness activity
· Virtue development and high performance
· A study regarding the impact of negative emotions and connection
· Ben’s advice to young athletes
Quotes:
“My same exhilaration for sports began to transfer over to my desire to want to understand how the mind works and how relationships work.”
“In the process of trying to study this, I experienced my own kind of healing in some of the wounds that I experienced as an athlete.”
“When results start to get wrapped up as the main definer of your self-worth, then it has devastating consequences.”
“I really firmly believe that there’s a lot of athletes who ‘choke’ or ‘bonk’, or whatever you want to call it, that really comes from an overstimulated sympathetic nervous system.”
“Often, our body responds even before we are able to process it cognitively.”
“Our external lives and relationships and stressors all can have positive or negative consequences physiologically on us.”
“We deal with stress and pain better when we have a purpose that’s bigger than ourselves.”
“These athletes that have this more purpose based identity, they achieve at really high levels as well, but they don’t have the consequences of high levels of depression or anxiety or shame.”
“Throughout history and throughout research, we just do better when we’re connected to others and we have this connection to some type of transcendent purpose.”
“What do I value? What is most important to me?”
“Relationships are so powerful for our emotional health.”
“How can I serve the people around me right now?”
“The foundation of the self becomes really important…the mindset skills are also really important.”
“Invest in your relationships – in healthy ones.”
“Being mindful in your day-to-day is really just…a non-judgmental awareness of being in the present moment.”
“For me, breath also represents a connection to God or even for some people to everybody around them, the source of life.”
“You are valued. You are loved. You are known. You are free. And your worth does not depend on your performance. And you have something to offer this world that nobody else can take away…there’s a purpose in what you can contribute to those around you.”
“When we do have that solid foundation, we are able to also give our best, and I think that’s where virtue development and high performance come together.”
Links:
Mental Training: https://www.laurawilkinson.com/learn
Laura’s Social Media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lala_the_diver
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheLauraWilkinson
Connect with Ben:
Search Institute: https://www.search-institute.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drbenhoultberg/
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